Raps-N-Snaps feat. DJ Pez

You might be a scenester if...

alt.music.chapel-hill, 7/13/95

From: ale@backporch.pdial.interpath.net (Alec Vance)
Newsgroups: alt.music.chapel-hill
Subject: you know you're a scenester if... (was RE: Territorial Pissings)
Date: 13 Jul 1995 21:54:40 -0000
Organization: Chapel Hill Music Lovers>

At 9.38am 7/13/95 -0400, Butman, Holly wrote:
>
>BTW, do you even know what a scenester is?

No, he probably doesn't, and please don't blame him for it. Most of us have heard the word "scenester" being bandied about here and there, sometimes as praise, sometimes as an insult, but very few would be able to answer Holly's question coherently. I myself was asked this question some months ago, and its complexity so challenged my lexicological functions that I decided I would tackle what Webster let slide by him and into the end-zone of elusive definitions. "What is a slacker?"--that was an easy one; we had Doug Coupland, Rick Linklater, and Ian Williams to write the book. But "what is a scenester?" is a question that may remain forever elusive. I for one, had never heard of one until I moved here, so I don't know if it's a local thing or a national thing. However, when it's used on alt.music.chapel-hill, it carries very specific, local connotations that an outsider might not catch at first. So here goes my attempt at narrowing the field, if not pinning down the underlying motivations and character of the beast. (This will be especially helpful if you yourself are not sure if you are a "scenester" or not, and it is causing you considerable mental anguish.)

YOU MIGHT BE A SCENESTER IF....

You are a waitress at the Flying Burrito.
You dated a waitress at the Flying Burrito.
You can identify members of Zen Frisbee by their first names.
You've ever smoked a spliff, argued to the point of complete exhaustion, or both (concurrently), with Dave Jiminez.
You cried when the Hardback closed.
You laughed maliciously when the Hardback closed.
You are a DJ at WXYC.
You keep track of who Mac McCaughan is going out with.
You've ever given local hero Mark Sloop a ride home from a party.
Two words: Camels & Olympia.
You can tell when someone is on heroin.
You know the last names of more than one person named "Ron."
You know the name of at least one owner of Local 506.
You know the difference between Cliff's Meat Market and Hank's Meat Market.
You can name three or more bands that Groves drums for.
More than one-third of your wardrobe comes from thrift shops, dumpsters, or your grandfather's attic.
You have been in Chapel Hill for at least 5 years
You have not left Chapel Hill/Durham in at least 2 years.
You are accompanied by a peculiar odor (males only).
You've ever had a crush on Frank Heath (females only).
You ignore and forget the names of people you've met 10 times until you're sure that they're cool enough to know.
You ignore and forget the names of people you've met 10 times until you're sure that you're sober enough to make a good guess.
You not only know local bartenders by name, but you can get a drink after closing hours.
You tell new acquaintances of the opposite sex that "you paint".
Most of your small talk involves local bands, cigarettes and beer.

THINGS THAT YOU MIGHT THINK MAKE YOU A SCENESTER (BUT DO NOT NECESSARILY)....

You have long hair or "beat" facial hair
You are in Pine State
You are a DJ at WXDU
You live in Durham
Refer to "the scene" incessantly, as if it were something tangible and organic.
You know the difference between the musical (as opposed to the graffiti) styles of Dada Veda and DSF Earth Corps
You know something about politics, philosophy or literature
You like Superchunk or the Archers of Loaf to the point of obsession

THINGS THAT EXCLUDE YOU FROM BEING A SCENESTER

You wear sandals.
You live in Raleigh.

Feel free to add to/correct this vital information in the public interest... maybe we could include it in the forever-forthcoming FAQ!

Self-deprecation is a poor substitute for humility.
And I'm a lousy, egotistical, self-righteous,
egg-sucking son-of-a-bitch.
-------------------------------------------------------------
alec vance ale@backporch.pdial.interpath.net carrboro, nc

Mel and Martha's pleasant living

Mel left the Pink House in '95, right as she and Martha graduated from UNC-CH and the Plastic House was shutting down.

The two of them (plus Laverne) joined forces in a little brick apartment complex off Pleasant Drive in Carrboro, which was always a fun place to visit.

Mel and Martha kept a steady stream of yummy snacks on tap, cool movies available to watch, and interesting games to play. That apartment was full of laughter and good times.

While plotting her next career move, Mel served a stint delivering pizzas around Chapel Hill and Carrboro. It was around the same time that N'Gai returned to town, bounced from Cole Street to the Dungeon, and starting throwing an early morning paper route in addition to his work laying out the Chapel Hill News. So 1995 was a year that Pink House alums took it to the streets, except for Jay, whose giant white Beast of a truck died and began a permanent residency blocking the Pink House driveway. Taking up where the hippies left off.

The Dungeon

The Cole Street crew changed residences in 1995. They went even deeper into the historic Pine Knolls neighborhood, down the street from Doug Clark's eye-catching house that the Hot Nuts built, ending up at a duplex apartment at 135-A Johnson Street. It was instantly dubbed the Dungeon.

Owned by recently-gone-bankrupt local slumlord (or "real estate baron," as he preferred to be called) George Tate, the Dungeon was an unforgettable spot. Not very big, but home to outsized egos, and a never-ending supply of plots and schemes. Roy Ayers' "Running Away" was the unofficial theme song. Plans and strategies to change the world were abundant. Grassroots business ventures were hatched, and you never knew if whatever you did (or with who) might end up on video. But times were tight, the heat didn't work very well, and the winter of '95 was a cold one.

The Dungeon phone has been long distance disabled to prevent the kind of outrageous unknown phone charges that were plaguing them, what with random motherfuckers rolling through at all times. - Letter to Dana, 4/10/95

Life in the Dungeon finally drove N'Gai to the ultimate act of desperation – moving back into the Pink House in mid-1996.

Pre-Summer Jam '95 at Seeds of Sheba

N'Gai, the generous host

Spent way too much of my sunny, 80 degree afternoon with a pack of Dungeon-dwelling knuckleheads who go by the names of N'Gai, Lem, Dawad, and Charles. And look at N'Gai, newly paid, all ready to be the generous host, shelling out for two large pizzas with delicious toppings like barbecued chicken, broccoli and pepperoni. Accepting donations on credit from all the rest of us dollar-less fiends. Like I said, way too much of the day. But then again, it was Sunday, and it's always important to kick back with the fellas once in awhile.

- Letter to Dana, 4/10/95

An American Dream for the 90's

As I write this, it's the tail end of a sunny February afternoon in Chapel Hill. The mercury has been a constant 40 degrees, I've been driving around all day, and this town has been giving me a headache. Maybe it's that I can't wait for winter to end. Or maybe I'm pissed off that the most exciting thing I could think of to do today was going to a bowling alley to play some damn pinball.

Yeah, Chapel Hill in February. New York it's not.

Was that a postcard I got from you via Los Angeles? I thought I recognized your scrawl. Something about visiting Bela's grave. I still haven't seen Ed Wood, but I want to, regardless of the bad reviews it got from sources usually in the know. Best film of '94? No contest - Pulp Fiction. Best old film I've seen recently - On The Waterfront. Before that it was probably Love Story, with Ali McGraw and Ryan O'Neal. Of course, I've hardly seen any movies lately because I've been working crazy hours like the wage slave I am. But more about that soon. Oh, and you know what new film I'd love to go see right now? The Brady Bunch Movie. I bet that shit will be funny as hell.

So, what is up with you? Hope life in the city treated you well this past year. My only visits to NYC since last new year's have been very brief ones, for a night or a day at a time, just passing through. One memorable time last fall was when I was home for a few days and Jared and his girlfriend Heather Anne drove Tony, a friend of his, and myself down to see Deee-Lite play the Sound Factory. But overall, I've gone through Big Apple withdrawal. I spent this past New Year's in D.C. hanging with a Chapel Hill crew, and chilled most of the big evening at D.C.'s premier nightclub establishment, Tracks. Although now I hear this new club called Buzz is giving them some serious competition. Incidentally, it's now around the end of March. This note has been lying around half-written for awhile.

I've been working full time since September in a "entry-level" position in an advertising agency/market research firm called FGI, which used to stand for Four Guys, Inc. when the business was first founded. Now it's more like Fucking Getting Irritated. Let's make that a "basement-level" position, because I do work in a basement. It's actually a phone center, a.k.a. an electronic sweatshop, staffed by students, recent grads, college flunkouts, and middle-aged slackers with whom I work daily.

If my supervisors had their way, I would be on the phones eight hours a day, calling anybody, anywhere, for all types of stupid projects, mostly trying to reach the people who are the most difficult to reach over the telephone. I also do mass mailings and general clerical work, but my official job title is sort of a cross between "market research assistant" and "telemarketer." I'm kind of amazed I've lasted this long in the place, but I figured there would be some advancement opportunity upstairs into the actual ad agency portion of the business. Guess again. They did start me at $8 an hour, and it has been good to get something post-college down on my resume. It's also allowed me to get an up-close look at how a medium-to-large-size (200 employee) company functions, and also how this company treats its employees, the fucked up working conditions we're subjected to, low wages paid, etc., knowledge I can put to use in future labor organizing projects. But now I'm ready to be out.

It's bugged, too, because before I got this job I was making crazy money working for myself, and enjoying the hell out of it. This was during August and September, right around the beginning of the school year. Spurred on by my need to move all my stuff out of the Pink House, and get rid of half of it, I became a used furniture broker. Things mushroomed and I started selling absurd used furniture to kids moving into dorms and apartments, all kinds of crazy shit, and netted about four grand altogether. Not bad for six weeks' work. It was fun.

Working full time for six months has given me all the motivation I need to get me off my duff and tightly focused on my political fundraising plans, pronto. So for the last week or so, I've been trying to jump- start a job search that will hopefully extricate me from the fucked up wage slave work I'm doing now and give me more time to work on my own stuff. I've been applying for administrative assistant-type positions, mostly in Chapel Hill and Durham, to work 25-30 hours a week. I don't really want to have to drive to Raleigh, which is about 40 minutes away when traffic is light. And during the workweek, traffic is anything but light around here. That's one of the biggest drawbacks to living somewhere where the state government has been too shortsighted over the years to invest in public infrastructure. I'm not even talking about the lack of a any type of light rail system in all of North Carolina, I'm screaming about there not even being regularly scheduled fucking public buses that will take you between Chapel Hill and Raleigh. Do you want to know how many times the public buses run between here and Durham, which is 20 minutes away by car? Twice a day - once in the morning, again at night. No weekend service. Period.

So I'm trying to find some work that's less physically and mentally debilitating than what I'm doing, will let me work less hours, and pay more. Sort of like an American Dream for the 90's. I'm also trying to coordinate all kinds of schemes and projects with various individuals who are also tired of sitting around on their slacker butts and are starting to want to get paid. Speaking of dough, my personal business ventures may be bringing me through the Big Apple real soon. Like, it's now Sunday night, March 26, and I'm thinking of taking a road trip north this coming Friday, the 31st. I would be stopping in D.C. to drop something off and (maybe) pick something up from Erica Salmon. I haven't seen her in a long time, since probably back around Clinton's inauguration, more than two years ago! That's so wack. But the minute I tell Tony Fishel that I'm driving through D.C., he's on me. "Dude, you have to get my shirt from her! This red, long-sleeved shirt of mine that she has. I've been totally missing it!" So I may have to see her on the drive-by.

Yeah, so our initial destination for Friday night is Boston. Tony is now living with my brother, and they have a phat crib over in a section of town called Jamaica Plain. Three other roommates and them share the place, two floors, very big, very nice layout. And Tony claims to be throwing a rave on Friday night at the crib itself, "a small rave, only 50 people." Oh, did I mention that their house is on a residential street packed tight with baby strollers and old people? Maybe this is Tony's idea of a neighborhood outreach program. But regardless, I will be on hand to give witness.

And then, my tentative driving companion has expressed interest in stopping in New York on our way back, i.e. next Saturday night, April 1st. So if this all pans out, and I do end up in town, I'll give you a call. Hope you haven't moved or anything, since I'm sending this letter to your most recent address. And it would be cool to see you.

- Letter to Robb Teer, 3/27/95

The Hippies Who Lived in the Driveway

Allen: Mel met these two hippies at a Grateful Dead show in Charlotte in the spring of '95 and told them they could park their van in the driveway overnight. Well, the van broke down there, and they lived in the driveway for the next two months.

Jay: They nearly drove Scott crazy. He was bitching about it every day.

Allen: They both slept in the van, but showered and shit in the downstairs bathroom.

Jay: And they weren't even very nice to us, seeing as how they were mooching off our facilities.

Allen: Their van was parked right between the side porch and the garage, so it was always in the way. You had to walk around it just to get into the back door. Finally, they painted the sign for the Gates of Beauty body shop in Carrboro. And it was the shittiest sign ever. On one side, there was a crashed car, and on the other, a rebuilt front end. It looked terrible. But that sign was perched on top of their building up until like, just five years ago. And the job got them just enough cash to fix their van and move out of the Pink House driveway for good.

- as told by Allen & Jay, 4/11/09


Mural depicting Gates of Beauty. This was not painted by the hippies.

Chew Toy session in the living room

Early in '95, Chris Palmatier had bought an 8-track, probably on credit, because bill collectors were constantly calling and looking for him. He had his studio set up in the dining room, on the kitchen counter, and every morning, when I would get up and stumble downstairs looking for some breakfast, I'd have to step over a drum set in the kitchen. By 10 am, Chris would have some band starting their practice session in the living room.

- Allen Sellars, 2009

(Editor's note from 2016: Glad some of the music recorded by Chris Palmatier in the winter of '95 is finally coming to light! The session linked to here was digitized last August, twenty years after it was originally recorded. With long-time Indy music writer Karen A. Mann on guitar, no less. From the band's bio: Chew Toy started in Greensboro, N.C., in August 1991, and finally called it quits in 1996. We released one single (Close the Window, Candy Corn and Lost in My Hometown) in 1993, and recorded many other songs that were never released until now. Chew Toy was: Amy Wilkinson, bass; Stacie Smith, drums; Christina Pelech, vocals; Karen A. Mann, guitar.)

The Greatest New Year's on Earth at Fifth Column

Pedigo and Martha rock Winter Commencement

"The University will hold its first mid-year Commencement ceremony at 2 p.m. Sunday in the Smith Center.

Jane Brown, faculty chair and professor of journalism and mass communication, will deliver the graduation address. The Winter Commencement recognizes students who complete degree work in August or December.

The University community is invited to help honor these new graduates.

More than 1,200 undergraduate, graduate and professional students have applied to receive their degrees in December. Graduates will wear traditional caps and gowns, and doctoral students will process across the stage. The platform party also will wear academic regalia, and music will be performed by student musicians.

Following the ceremony, a reception will be held on the concourse."

- "Brown to address first Winter Commencement," University Gazette, 12/14/94

Pine State

Perahps the most legendary of several outfits with claim to the title of Pink House house band, Pine State first secured their reputation as out-of-control rock'n'rollers at...what else, a series of raucous Pink House parties during 1994-95.


December, 1994 performance at the Cradle. Charlie Speight is on lead vocals and washboard.

Fronted by Charlie Speight, who shared the Mona Lisa room with Chris Palmatier in '94, Pine State also featured regular Pink House guests from the early 90s like Chris "A.C." Lee on guitar, Mike Shoffner on drums, and Dan Partridge on miscellaneous instruments (officially described by the band as "junkyard percussion, rants, screech vocals, saw and whistles").

A can't lose proposition for completely bizarre freaks

alt.music.chapel-hill, 11/23/94

From: spe...@email.unc.edu (Tom)
Newsgroups: alt.music.chapel-hill
Subject: free records! seeks artists
Date: 23 Nov 1994 04:21:34 -0000
Organization: Chapel Hill Music Lovers

ATTENTION CLOSET MUSICIANS!

if you would like to be a recording artist for the fastest growing record label in the world, this is your chance. !free records! is seeking demo tapes for inclusion in a series of tapes to be released and marketed to the public FREE OF CHARGE! absolutely no strings are attached, in fact, there is no catch, no hidden agenda, no contract and no obligation on the part of the artist! this is a can't lose proposition for struggling artists, established artists with side projects, completely bizarre freaks who make completely unlistenable music, and jaded cynics fed up with the corporate world of rock and roll.

all submissions will be considered based on their sound, authenticity, uniqueness, humor and general spunk. HOWEVER, everyone who submits a piece of work WILL make it onto one of the compilations. in fact, nothing will be turned down. !free records! lets the consumer decide what it wants. in the future, however, especially inspired work will be included on split cassette releases and perhaps, if god is willing, a flexi disc project.

all funding for !free records! comes from the wallet of the sole proprietor. !free records! is, however, seeking partners who share a similar vision for the de-commodification of music. negotiations are underway and a new partner may be added to the firm soon.

!free records! will NEVER turn down gifts in kind of blank tapes, prerecorded tapes (basically anything we can tape over), white and colored photocopy paper, original art for unique tape packaging, stickers, labels, bags, and photocopy privileges. contributors will not be recognized in print anywhere unless the contributor directly asks to be recognized. however, !free records! is not in the business of giving "indie cred" to any artists and thusly will go to no major extremes to promote the fact that you support free music. hell, we aren't even in business at all! we will NOT allow our counter-culture revolution to be co-opted. but, if we influence major labels to begin giving away their music, we will be vindicated.

direct all demo tapes, questions, comments, advertising (possibilities for !free records! to advertise in your mag), interview requests, and donations to

!free records!
c/o Charlie Speight
130 North Street
Chapel Hill, NC 27514

(919) 967-8969

spe...@email.unc.edu

**********************************************************************

!fr!001 French, New Wave, and Pretentious
cs compilation of short lived fantasy songs.
(available in time for christmas)

!fr!002 My Friend The Magic Microphone
experimental and noisy. essential for expecting mothers.
(available in early january)

!fr!003 What's Another Generation?
indecipherible meanderings from tortured souls.
(out before MLK Day!)

*********************************************************************

*all products are free.
*act now!

Timber Wolf
spe...@email.unc.edu

"A few people are trying to control radio, just
like the government is trying to control the masses"
-Merle Haggard

Chillin' in Chapel Hill

If I was Woody Woodpecker, I would say, "Guess who!" If I was Woodsy Owl, I would say, "Hoot Hoot!" But guess what? I'm not either of those two wacky birds. I'm just your buddy Erik, here chillin' in Chapel Hill, missing you and hoping everything's going well for ya in San Jose. I assume you found a good place to stay and you're not living on somebody's bathroom floor. Well, I guess you never know with miscreant members of that Golden Fleece organization.

...

How's work? Say hello to Susan for me the next time you see her. We talked for a while when I called looking for you in Washington. Tell her I recently caught a bad case of boogie fever, so I went out and bought eight bona fide disco CD's.

I too am working full time these days. I got a job at FGI, the market research firm/advertising agency on the corner of Franklin and Church Streets, where the Cradle used to be. They started me in the phone center, down in the basement, working inbound and outbound phones on a variety of different projects for $8/hr. Could be worse - at least I get overtime pay. These past two weeks I've worked 50-60 hours a week.

My furniture business was a gigantic success. Thank you again very much for your generous contribution to Erik's Used Junk Corporation, I mean, Salvage Engineering Firm.

I finally sold your table and chairs after storing them at a variety of different places around town, and showing them to numerous skeptical customers. ("You want how much for these? Someone paid how much for these new?") But I knew we had some quality stuff, so I held on to them. One of Derek Shadid's housemates ended up as the buyer, so he's the one who's now eating meals at your table. Good karma prevails.

Let's see, what else is happening. Chilly was described in the paper today as having made an "eloquent speech" urging the town council to rezone the University's Horace Williams Airport tract so that any major UNC development/construction there could only go ahead with input from the town. The final vote was 5-4 against rezoning, so I bet he was bummed. I will try and call him tomorrow.

Rashmi was visiting from N.Y. last weekend. On Friday, Jenny and I had dinner at Pyewacket with her, James, and Stuart Hathaway, who I remember somehow from the Campus Y. Dana got engaged to Erika. It happened about six weeks ago. N'Gai returned home safely from Japan, and Thailand, and wherever the hell else he's been for five months. He's in New York, but he's coming back to Chapel Hill in January and applying to UNC for graduate school in music. Guess he's been playing his flute quite a bit lately.

Pedigo is doing well, as far as I can tell. He's enjoying the comfort of living in this new luxurious home in Durham where he's staying, right overlooking Duke Park. But he's all psyched up about applying to work for Morgan Stanley or some other mega-company and going to live in Boston. He called me the other night, so I really should call him back. That's the downside to working overtime - it's Wednesday, and it's the first night this week I've been able to sit down and call people on the phone, or write long overdue letters like this one.

...

I miss you and hope everything is turning out positive for you on the West Coast. Write back whenever you can - keeping up correspondence with a slack motherfucker like me should be a breeze.

- Letter to C-line

Other than hearing Jay Murray sing "Plastic Disaster"...

Various: COGNITIVE MAPPING (Friction Media) (1994)

WXYC station manager Bob Boster put together COGNITIVE MAPPING to benefit the station's tower fund. Though a couple of the bands here have records out, (MINERVA STRAIN, JUNE), the cassette is mostly garden-variety home-recordings by XYC jocks. Consistently good stuff. . . my picks: PROTOBLAST (aka Nate Florin aka Asst. Manager aka housemate) doing the suspiciously Sebadoh-esque "Hardcore," DETERGENT's (aka Palmatier aka the guy who lets me use his e-mail account) twisted, "acoustic" habit, ALEX & RUGARE's (aka Graham Entwhistle and Bob) Gloria Steinem audio cut-up, "Sex and Race," and JOBY's OPINION . . . but best of all, other than hearing Jay Murray sing "Plastic Disaster," is the unlisted cut at the end; a couple guys (one sounding a lot like Palmatier) screaming in "unison" about Friction Media. A theme song.

- Stay Free! Magazine, 1994

The most glorious location in all of Chapel Hill

alt.music.chapel-hill, 9/12/94

From: spe...@isisa.oit.unc.edu (TIMBER WOLF)
Newsgroups: alt.music.chapel-hill
Subject: Do you want to live?
Date: 12 Sep 1994 23:48:58 -0000
Organization: Chapel Hill Music Lovers

OK...

Forget what you've heard about the Pink House being exclusive,
Forget what you've heard about the Pink House lifestyle being too fast,
Forget what you've heard about Timberwolf's manners,
Forget what you've heard about Timberwolf's obsessions,
Forget what you've heard about the ghost of the Pink House.

YOU can live at the most glorious location in all of Chapel Hill,
with a birds eye view of the Phi Mu house,
and a 2 minute stroll to the quad,
and you get to ROOM with the TIMBERWOLF!!!!!

i'm dead serious.

email me for more details.

-----------
Timber Wolf
spe...@email.unc.edu

"I'll make a fist and put that fist right in yr. eye" J.O.

From: ecs...@email.unc.edu (Ian Williams)
Newsgroups: alt.music.chapel-hill
Subject: Re: Do you want to live?
Date: 13 Sep 1994 08:25:57 GMT
Organization: University of North Carolina, Chapel Hill

In article ,
TIMBER WOLF wrote:

>Forget what you've heard about the Pink House being exclusive,
>Forget what you've heard about the Pink House lifestyle being too fast,
>YOU can live at the most glorious location in all of Chapel Hill,

I think it's common knowledge that the Purple House was, at its height,
the most glorious location in all of Chapel Hill. At least fairly common
knowledge. Plus, those guys never do their dishes.

--
Ian Williams, back in slow, sweaty, sleepy and sexy Chapel Hill, NC!
"Ohhhhh, we're half-way there...
Oh...whoa... we're livin' on a prayer"
-"Livin' on a Prayer," Bon Jovi

The house predictably sank into utter summer filth

Whassup! This is your former Pink Housemate Erik coming through loud and clear on the straight-up tip, doing deals and making crazy cash while chillin' in Chapel Hill, sending you out a positive shout up there in D.C., where the word on the street says you've finally made the big move into an apartment of your very own! Well, actually I guess it's a place you're sharing with someone else, namely, Jenny's very close friend and former roommate Alston Neal. What a coincidence. Hope everything's going smoothly, from what I've heard you're having a great time living closer to the heart of the city.

Shelly was in town this past weekend and tried unsuccessfully to get in touch with me regarding your mail. It was a very hectic weekend for us both I guess, for me because of my latest, on-going, money-making venture. More about that in a second. Anyway, I figured I should get off my ass and send you this mail and your farewell videotape before any more time elapsed. It's a two-hour tape, and your goodbye party takes the award for most interesting portion.

Yeah, so the Pink House vibe has definitely dissipated. You're gone, I'm gone, and for a while it looked as if Mel was planning to jet as well. The troubles all started when I left town shortly after you, leaving a check for both our phone bills with Chris Palmatier. He proceeded to lose this check, and instead just assumed that neither of us had paid our bills. Jay Murray, of course, at this point hadn't paid the phone bill either. So guess what happened? The phone got disconnected. It took those kids about six weeks to finally get their phone service reconnected. Mel was truly bugging out. The inconvenience of not having a phone was really getting to her, plus the utter summer filth that the house predictably sank into within days of our departures, plus everyone else's general slack attitudes. And since I took most of my stuff with me when I jetted, the house got left kind of bare anyway. So Mel started thinking about jumping ship herself.

Then Charlie came back from New Orleans, Trent moved in, and I finished moving out. Mel came back from Pennsylvania and realized how much bigger my room was than the one she'd been living in across the hall. Trent is an actor, and he can't live without a phone, so within a few days he arranged to have the service re-connected. Then Charlie, Jay and Scott went on a mad furniture buying spree, and bought all this new funky furniture to replace the stuff I'd jetted with. I think they even started picking up after themselves. Mel tried looking around for apartments, and realized there wasn't much out there close to campus where she could keep a pet. Laverne is getting so big, by the way - you wouldn't believe it. So all these factors converged to influence a change in her plans, and now Mel is again staying at Chez Pink. You have their new phone number, I assume, but in case you don't, it's (919) 967-8969.

O.k., I'm on the verge of wrapping this letter up, but I did want to tell you how I've been making crazy money these last few weeks. Basically, I've become a used furniture broker! Selling absurd used furniture to kids moving into dorms and apartments, all kinds of crazy shit, and I've netted about $2500 since mid-August. I feel like I've been stuck in an extended episode of Sanford and Son, driving around town in my Volvo, scanning the streets for wayward couches and easy chairs, searching apartment complex dumpsters for those "special items" just waiting to make some furniture customer a happy camper.

Essentially, I'm raising capital. Kristen Schoonover (who told me all about the great night out at Fifth Column she had with you and Jyoti a few weeks ago) and I are now exploring becoming co-investors in a nightclub in Raleigh, a space over on Hillsborough Street. It's got 1500 square feet, rent is $1000/month, and we're going to look at it on Tuesday of this week. It's owned by two brothers who are friends of hers, Leon and Louie, and who own half the real estate on Hillsborough Street. I'll keep you informed of developments.

Feel free to drop me a line with all the latest lowdown on your plans and activities, because both Jenny and I would love to know how things are going with you. And you know you're welcome to stay with us whenever you come down to visit next - we've got an extra futon and it's all you. O.k., kid, I gotta go sell some more used furniture. My inventory is almost depleted, but I've still got about $800 worth of deals to close. Jyoti, Ryan, Firas, and Derek Shadid all say hello.

- Letter to Steve